What Game Are You Playing?

What Game Are You Playing?

Have you ever heard the concept of a winner’s game vs. a loser’s game? It comes from the game of tennis, but its implications go far beyond sports—it applies to business, relationships, and life itself.

In a winner’s game, victory is determined by making the most brilliant moves, hitting the perfect shots, and executing high-skill plays. It’s about going on the offensive, taking big risks, and capitalizing on opportunities.

In a loser’s game, success isn’t about the best shots—it’s about avoiding unforced errors. Instead of striving for perfection, the focus is on minimizing mistakes and staying in the game.

This concept, originally introduced by Charles Ellis in Winning the Loser’s Game, highlights that in professional tennis, winners win by making great plays. But in amateur tennis, the player who makes fewer mistakes usually wins.

Now, let’s apply this to life.

The Loser’s Game: Minimize Your Mistakes 

Most of life operates like an amateur tennis match—it’s a loser’s game. The goal isn’t necessarily to make the most spectacular moves, but to avoid major blunders.

Jordan Peterson often discusses this principle through his rule, “Do not do things that you know to be stupid.” If you simply stop making predictable, self-destructive mistakes, your life will improve dramatically.

How to Win the Loser’s Game in Life: 

1. Avoid financial disasters.
• Spend less than you earn.
• Don’t take on unnecessary debt.
• Build an emergency fund. 

2. Stay away from toxic relationships. 
• Don’t surround yourself with people who drag you down.
• Choose your friends and partners wisely. 

3. Protect your health. 
• Eat well, exercise, and sleep enough.
• Avoid substances and behaviors that destroy your body. 

4. Don’t ignore obvious risks. 
• If something seems like a bad idea, it probably is.
• Learn from the mistakes of others.

By simply avoiding common life mistakes, you create the conditions for long-term success.

The Winner’s Game: Master Your Strengths

Once you’ve eliminated major mistakes, you can start playing the winner’s game—where you take calculated risks, build momentum, and go for big wins.

This is where high performers thrive. They’ve already stabilized their foundation, so they can afford to take strategic risks.

Jordan Peterson frames this in terms of self-improvement and responsibility—before you chase greatness, you need to “clean your room,” meaning you should first get your basic life in order.

How to Win the Winner’s Game in Life: 

1. Maximize your unique skills. 
• Identify your strengths and double down on them.
• Seek out competitive advantages in your career or business. 

2. Take smart, calculated risks. 
• Once your foundation is solid, start taking bold but measured steps.
• Invest in yourself—education, skill-building, or entrepreneurship. 

3. Seize opportunities others miss.
• If you’re playing the winner’s game, you’ll recognize when it’s time to strike.
• Look for chances to innovate and create long-term value. 

4. Operate with purpose.
• Winners don’t just “get by”—they aim for meaningful, fulfilling success.
• Pursue goals that align with your values and impact others positively.

So, What Game Are You Playing? 

Most people fail because they try to play a winner’s game before they’ve mastered the loser’s game. They take big risks before eliminating self-sabotaging behaviors. They chase rewards without securing their foundation.

Here’s the lesson: 

👉 If your life is full of unforced errors, start by minimizing them—that’s how you stay in the game. 

👉 Once you’ve done that, start making intentional, high-impact moves—that’s how you win.

Play the right game, at the right time. And remember: sometimes winning is simply not losing.

What game are you playing?

Ryan McElroy
IamRyanMcElroy

1 + 1 = 3: Vision, Consultation, Execution

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